Putting The "Committed" In Commitment

if you saw the previous blog post then you saw lots of pictures of Russ and i happy and smiling. (nice huh?) but if you think that's the way it is all the time, well... really?? i mean, people have this crazy idea about Love -- that it's magical and life changing. truth is, it is rarely "magical" and while it is often "life changing" it's not in the happily ever after kind of way.


the thing about being in a committed relationship is that when you're in love it's easier to stay with someone even in the hard, Hard, terribly HARD times. ("easier" but not easy.) you want to be with them but imagine marriage as waking up as half of co-joined twins. here is this whole other person that you have only limited control over but whose every action effects you. you can cry, rage, belittle, berate, and blackmail but ultimately you can't control your partner. and as nice as it might be to just be like "he did it!" -- you still have to deal with the fall-out.


if you've never been in a committed relationship this may all seem hard to understand. it never ceases to amuse me to hear someone say "well i wouldn't put up with that. i'd be all Beyonce and leave his stuff on the porch." yeah, you think so. it's not that loving someone makes it easier to forgive and, far as i can tell, does nothing to help you forget. it's a trade-off. you take the bad to keep the good.


probably the best preparation in the world is to grow up with a sibling. your brother or sister is someone you will forever have ties to -- you have all these great memories and know all the same people. you always love them but sometimes you really hate them. nobody pushes your buttons as easily or with as much relish as a sibling. no, you won't always get along. yes, you will hate some of their choices. but, in the end, you love them for all their great qualities and are so glad to have them to lean on. a spouse/partner/whatever-you-call-'em is like that with benefits.

Best .. Song .. Ever

here is my wisdom about marriage: a good marriage is just like a good job. you find out about this great "job" and you get all dressed up and go for the interview. you are on your best behavior. you try to be smart and funny and sell all your good points. you got the job! Hooray! now, if you want to keep this job you have to show up everyday, even when you really don't want to. you have to WORK HARD and sometimes you wonder if it's even all worth it. but like a really good job, if you keep the boss happy it can be very rewarding. you may even find you love your work.