why are husbands so stubborn??? it is some kind of required trait - carefully sought out in the selection process by a dutiful subconscious? are cute, funny, interesting husbands-to-be cruelly eliminated for being too accommodating? for years i accepted that it was a hidden flaw in my otherwise wonderful husband. however, recent conversations with friends suggests a possible epidemic. how is this helpful in any relationship?
normally Russ is so wonderful that it's WRONG. he's super laid-back, easy-going, does everything around the house, and waits on me hand and foot. that is, as long as it's something he wants to do. if he makes up his mind about something, no amount of emotion or reason is going to topple that mountain of will. (what is up with that??)
people don't believe this about him! many think of him as The Man Who Can't Say "No". well, let me tell you, he can and he does. i have to say, i'm pretty good at getting my way. still, once he makes up his mind, even my formidable powers of persuasion are tested.
and most frustrating of all? being PROVEN RIGHT provides me no clout in future discussions. exhibit A: a recent discussion about somewhere i wanted to go (i don't remember where but i'm quite sure it was fabulous and not to be missed.)
Me: c'mon Russie, let's go. pleeeeeeeeeaaaassssseeeeeeeee?
Russie: no. c'mon baby, let's just stay home tonight.
Me: awwww, i want to go. it'll be fun.
Russ: do you really want to go? i have to work tomorrow and i'm tired. let's just skip it this time. (Russ works 6 days a week so this is a staple.)
Me: awww c'mon. it's early and you could take the day off and we could spend the day around the house together. (note: "spend the day around the house together" is code for "you can play outside in the yard and i won't ask you to go anywhere")
Russ: i don't need to miss work. (note: somehow this is never the case when he wants to take the day off.)
Me: you know you'll enjoy it. remember the last time we went ______________? you didn't want to go, but you did and you had a great time! (smug look on face as, in my mind, establishing precedence=victory)
Russ: yes, i did ... and it sounds good but ... we don't need to spend the money.
Me: fine. (slow simmer)
see? see what he did there? he ADMITTED i was right before, that he did go and enjoy it even though he didn't want to, and even that it would be fun -- then, BAM!, the trump card.
sometimes it's .. "it's too far to drive Velma" or "we wouldn't get home until after dark" or "we don't have anyone to stay with Grannie" but usually it's .. "we don't need to spend the money". "we don't need to spend the money" is that one eternal truth i cannot argue.
still, one of these days i am going to squirrel away a big old wad of money in a secret place and just whip it out even as he drops the M bomb. you - just - wait - and - see!
normally Russ is so wonderful that it's WRONG. he's super laid-back, easy-going, does everything around the house, and waits on me hand and foot. that is, as long as it's something he wants to do. if he makes up his mind about something, no amount of emotion or reason is going to topple that mountain of will. (what is up with that??)
people don't believe this about him! many think of him as The Man Who Can't Say "No". well, let me tell you, he can and he does. i have to say, i'm pretty good at getting my way. still, once he makes up his mind, even my formidable powers of persuasion are tested.
and most frustrating of all? being PROVEN RIGHT provides me no clout in future discussions. exhibit A: a recent discussion about somewhere i wanted to go (i don't remember where but i'm quite sure it was fabulous and not to be missed.)
Me: c'mon Russie, let's go. pleeeeeeeeeaaaassssseeeeeeeee?
Russie: no. c'mon baby, let's just stay home tonight.
Me: awwww, i want to go. it'll be fun.
Russ: do you really want to go? i have to work tomorrow and i'm tired. let's just skip it this time. (Russ works 6 days a week so this is a staple.)
Me: awww c'mon. it's early and you could take the day off and we could spend the day around the house together. (note: "spend the day around the house together" is code for "you can play outside in the yard and i won't ask you to go anywhere")
Russ: i don't need to miss work. (note: somehow this is never the case when he wants to take the day off.)
Me: you know you'll enjoy it. remember the last time we went ______________? you didn't want to go, but you did and you had a great time! (smug look on face as, in my mind, establishing precedence=victory)
Russ: yes, i did ... and it sounds good but ... we don't need to spend the money.
Me: fine. (slow simmer)
 |
| he'll do anything for love but he WON'T do that |
sometimes it's .. "it's too far to drive Velma" or "we wouldn't get home until after dark" or "we don't have anyone to stay with Grannie" but usually it's .. "we don't need to spend the money". "we don't need to spend the money" is that one eternal truth i cannot argue.
still, one of these days i am going to squirrel away a big old wad of money in a secret place and just whip it out even as he drops the M bomb. you - just - wait - and - see!
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