It's All Relative(s)

you know, when you fall in love it's fantastic. and, when two people commit themselves to sharing their lives together, it's amazing. all of the sudden, you have this whole new world to explore. plus, if you're gay, you just doubled your wardrobe! you get new clothes, new shoes, new furniture, new friends, and ... new relatives. yes. that special someone you are so enamored with comes with another whole group of folks you might not be so crazy about.


last November my uncle died. this is significant in that, after a rather spectacular piece of drama, he had placed my Grannie in a nursing home in Hayden and assumed control of her affairs. with him gone, this left her 250 miles away from everyone and with no one supervising her care or paying her bills. since i had long begged to move her to Pensacola, my Mom suggested we move her in and care for her. her social security and pension income would help with expenses. plus, she's in her 90's. this could well be my last opportunity to spend time with her.


Russ and i agreed. i don't know who is crazier. i have no business being a "care giver". i don't do such a great job taking care of myself. hell, i can't even remember to feed our pets! and Russ knows this. Grannie can't walk or even stand on her own. who in their right mind would place her in my care? and why in the world did Russ agree to it?

My Grannie

i love my Grannie. she signed for me a car when i needed one. she let me live with her back in my 20's and quietly endured all that entailed. i know how incredibly blessed i am to have this last chance to spend time with her. i have heard her laugh and felt happier than can i express. nothing i do for her is too much to ask.

still, are you people CRAZY? i have no idea what i'm doing. hell, Rhea and Russ really do it all. i'm just here to do the heavy lifting. i try not to show it but it all freaks me out. i'm responsible for keeping someone healthy and happy -- or at least reasonably comfortable. excuse me? i have a rash i can't clear up and you want me to take care of my 90 year old grandmother who is precious beyond words?


now, having said that, imagine what life is like for Russ. my sister is living in our garage. his son is somewhere in Alabama calling for money and to dispense guilt. Russ is working full-time and helping me care for my grandmother. oh, and in 6 months my Mom & Dad are moving in. i know he loves me but i wonder -- if he'd had a vision of living with all my relatives -- if he would've run when he had the chance. and, truthfully, should he have??


sometimes you meet somebody wonderful. things click. you fall in love (whatever that means) and agree to spend the rest of your lives together. at times you will have doubts, fears, suspicions. don't feel like you need to get to the bottom of them. time will do that for you. for, if i ever wondered if Russ really loved me, i think this settles it.