ahhh Wednesday -- all the crap of Monday with none of the originality. you know... this constant plodding on; hour onto hour, day onto day, is very tedious. when does Lay In The Bed All Day & Not Get Up-day come?
big weekends ahead! Russ's mom Gail & niece Courtney are coming down for the weekend. this will be the first time that Gail has ever come to visit us. hell, its the first time (that i know of) that Gail has ever gone to visit anyone. Russ is ecstatic; which makes me giddy. i'm hoping that she will start to visit on a semi-regular basis. i know that would mean the world to Russ.
and then there's next weekend. (LOL) my parents are coming down and bringing my sister AND her on-again/off-again boyfriend (or friend or whatever), Jason. for reasons all his own, Russ is absolutely against Jason coming here (which i totally respect.. although it would be easier to reconcile if it made the slightest bit of sense). but, again, that's next weekend.
the down side of this weekend's visit is that Courtney wants to get Gail out of the house because tomorrow would have been Ryan's 24th birthday. (ugh. how's that for a punch to the gut?) the year i turned 24 i spent an amazing summer doing Summerfest, i fell head-over-heels in love and got my heart broken, i graduated from college, and i got my first real job. i remember so much laughter and drama and angst and loneliness and looking back it all seems so long ago.
Ryan never got any of those things. as years passed i traveled the country. one night i met a great guy and (when i least expected it) fell in love. one day i realized i had found someone who loved me, always would, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. one morning i was shocked to realize i felt the same way! how do i get up every morning and put on a happy face knowing that Ryan and so many, many others will never have the chance to look back fondly on all that (which i'm beginning to realize is the BEST part).
what get's me through is my faith. i believe there is a God who loves us. i believe that he has a plan for our lives. i accept that, because He loves me, i don't have to understand that plan, much less "keep all the cars on the right road".
it all reminds me of one of my favorite things in the world: the Rube Goldberg machine. see? even though things seem random and senseless and stupid, i believe everything is part of this big, complex machine that ultimately makes good things happen. (eh, blame my Presbyterian upbringing)
to wit, watch and enjoy:
big weekends ahead! Russ's mom Gail & niece Courtney are coming down for the weekend. this will be the first time that Gail has ever come to visit us. hell, its the first time (that i know of) that Gail has ever gone to visit anyone. Russ is ecstatic; which makes me giddy. i'm hoping that she will start to visit on a semi-regular basis. i know that would mean the world to Russ.
and then there's next weekend. (LOL) my parents are coming down and bringing my sister AND her on-again/off-again boyfriend (or friend or whatever), Jason. for reasons all his own, Russ is absolutely against Jason coming here (which i totally respect.. although it would be easier to reconcile if it made the slightest bit of sense). but, again, that's next weekend.
the down side of this weekend's visit is that Courtney wants to get Gail out of the house because tomorrow would have been Ryan's 24th birthday. (ugh. how's that for a punch to the gut?) the year i turned 24 i spent an amazing summer doing Summerfest, i fell head-over-heels in love and got my heart broken, i graduated from college, and i got my first real job. i remember so much laughter and drama and angst and loneliness and looking back it all seems so long ago.
Ryan never got any of those things. as years passed i traveled the country. one night i met a great guy and (when i least expected it) fell in love. one day i realized i had found someone who loved me, always would, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. one morning i was shocked to realize i felt the same way! how do i get up every morning and put on a happy face knowing that Ryan and so many, many others will never have the chance to look back fondly on all that (which i'm beginning to realize is the BEST part).
what get's me through is my faith. i believe there is a God who loves us. i believe that he has a plan for our lives. i accept that, because He loves me, i don't have to understand that plan, much less "keep all the cars on the right road".
it all reminds me of one of my favorite things in the world: the Rube Goldberg machine. see? even though things seem random and senseless and stupid, i believe everything is part of this big, complex machine that ultimately makes good things happen. (eh, blame my Presbyterian upbringing)
to wit, watch and enjoy:
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