Homos In The Hood

This Is Why I'm Here

we live in, according to a real estate flyer i "found" when the house down the street was for sale, a "highly desirable neighborhood". it's true. it's a very nice neighborhood and all of the neighbors we've met have been lovely. 

still, i feel a certain pressure to keep it up and looking nice. luckily, i have a Russ for that! he handles the mowing, the raking, the pruning, blah, blah, blah. for my part, i appreciate. (ok. it's not a perfect system, but it works for us.)

recently, a new family rented the house to our right. we knew they had children immediately because they lined up just at the property line on moving day. from there they appeared to examine every inch of our yard and as much of the house as was visible through the windows.

this was a cause of concern to Russ. he couldn't understand nor did he appreciate the fascination. i personally dismissed it. after all, my "walk through the house naked" days are long behind me and all that looking didn't seem to be damaging anything.

"Good Fences Make Good Neighbors"

one of the best things about our house is a big, fenced-in backyard. it is where we spend most of our time. (now, by "we" i mean the royal "we" and not the more literal "we" that would require me to be ... you know, outside.) when we finish landscaping and decking, etc. it will be the showplace of the house. let me clarify: our six-foot-tall privacy fence fenced-in backyard. 

the new KND do not seem to understand its purpose. in less than a month we have retrieved four baseballs, a softball, and a football which somehow flew high enough and far enough to land in our backyard. out of concern for their lost sporting equipment (i'm sure) KND often stand on the wood piled against their side of the fence to stare over at us. now THIS i find disturbing.

"nothing to see here people! move along." 

just the other day Russ was cutting my hair. there i am, sitting on the back porch, shirtless, sipping my gin and tonic, getting a haircut, when three heads pop up along the fence. i ignored them. but then i made some completely innocent comment about the the rigidity of my nipples and he shushed me. 

i was indignant. i was shushed on my own back porch. was it not enough that i tolerate their impudent gaze while almost completely naked? must i also censor my hilarious comments? (seriously. i'm told i am hilarious.) i don't get it. he is giving me a haircut. you can see that at most any old Wal-Mart. why you got a scale a fence to ogle mine?

so, i'm currently seeking non-lethal methods of determent. any suggestions?